ugh

I won't say I'm depressed, though. It's just that most things in my life are pretty much out of control. Even worse, some of them are even out of my reach. I pretty much have been spending most of my time trying not to think about it but don't we all think of chocolate pudding when we start to get hungry during our so-called-diets? Well, I know I do.

Well, you can say that I am bad at handling problems. I like my life calm and undisturbed but obviously, where's the fun in that, right? I over-think. I overreact. Heck, I'm an emotional train-wreck, I'd say. And I'm lost, too. I don't know where to start over and I'm pretty sure that if I do get a chance to start over, I'd do it the same way. And as much as I hate it, I truly don't know who to talk to. My friends are great but I just can't bear the fact that they might tell me something I don't even wanna hear. And let's not even start on my ego hahah

Truth is, what I'm going through right now is trying to kill me. Except that it doesn't. It gives me sleepless nights and a lot of crying at 2 am - which I hate very much, I look like a zombie, thank you.

On the bright side, since it doesn't kill me, I guess I can handle this. I'll stop thinking about it. Soon. Or maybe in two weeks. Or two months. Probably a year, but I'll get over it. So, I guess I'm sorry for such a long, crappy rant. I'm just sick of crying when I end up not being able to handle it. I'll be fine, though. Trust me. I always turn out okay most of the time.

"God does not burden a soul more that it can bear."

RESTART

January in pictures, from left to right; 

1. Jasmin invited Ily, Khai and I to her place for New Year's Eve dinner/celebration. | 2. My good friend, Aida, left for pre-dentistry in the UK :'D | 3. Which basically lead to a SESERI 'reunion' at KLIA lol. | 4. Kak Lina came and took me and Amy to Sg Tekala waterfall for a picnic. We later had durian and I ended up having a fever lol. | 5. Finals yo. | 6. A picture to make up for Jasm's half-face in the first picture. Sorry, Khai lol. | 7. Me in a dress so basically this has to be in the collage. | 8. Angah (Afiqah?) went for PLKN and she's back for CNY so we went out to eat chicken. | 9. Yours truly (?)

Umm. So how do we do this?

Let's see, it's not like I haven't blogged before. I quit and I'm ashamed of it. The quitting part, I mean. You see, I'm not really the kind of person who makes New Year's resolutions but I did this year and I'm actually glad I did. I started doing a lot of things I haven't been doing for a long time. So in the spirit of redoing things that I enjoy, I guess I'd pick up blogging again.

I wanted to start in January but I had my finals for three weeks so I guess I'd start in... February after much post-finals procrastination. 

My name is Aisyah Nadjwa, but most people call me Nadjwa. Sometimes, I'd let some close friends call me Nadj - which, kind of explains the title of the blog. I guess you can say this blog is kind of... personal? While this can be a positive outlet for me to express my personal thoughts/feelings (?), I'm actually intimidated by the idea of letting people into my perspective on certain things in life. But I'm up for trying new things now, so why not, eh?

I'd ramble on about myself but I don't have anything else to talk about. My age? Nineteen, turning twenty very soon. My hobby/interest? I don't really know, but I guess you'd find out sooner or later, through this blog.

Til the next post,

Nadjwa